Wrangling Cheeky Monkeys and Other Noble Pursuits: The Wrangler's No Good, Horrible, Very Bad Day

Monday, August 30, 2010

The Wrangler's No Good, Horrible, Very Bad Day

It started with the dentist. Grr.

And went downhill fast.

Monkeys found themselves in BIG TROUBLE.

To their rooms they went.

For HOURS.

And it never let up.

The Little woke up an hour early from nap. Imagine him mewing. Continuously. FOR FOUR HOURS.

The dog ate several alphabet blocks. Enough to spell NHPWK.

I had to cancel a playdate. I hate it when the BIG TROUBLE ends up punishing me.

We were late for an afternoon appointment due to crying, whining, and the lost shoe tragedy.

I spent WAY too much at Target for necessary but very uninspiring things.

Monkeys spilled an entire bag of dog food on the laundry room floor.

I kept thinking the Head Monkey was scheduled arrive home and rescue me tonight. Until he reminded me THAT HE WASN'T.

I hit my head on the bike rack as I was closing the trunk of my van. AGAIN.
I am not a smart woman.

As I rushed to the side of the Middle as he howled in pain, the dog took the opportunity to eat all of our dinners as they sat on the table. Those plates were LICKED CLEAN. Double dinner making time.

The Little has not had a poo all day. I suspect that gift will arrive at THREE A.M.

All that, and Wilber the Wonder Turtle has to go back to his home in the science classroom tomorrow.

I am bereft. He is t

he best little turtle I have ever known.

And I love him so.

Sigh.

5 comments:

JenniferAugust 30, 2010 at 9:47 PM
And I dried my favorite shorts. They don't fit. BLERG.
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Wise WomanAugust 30, 2010 at 10:17 PM
You know what you need? 2 slices of toasted wonder bread with death spread.

I'm so sorry. Mamma sai there'd be days like this. There'll be days like this my mamma said.
Finally, I submit to you that your good friend "regression to the mean" says that tomorrow *will* be better.
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Wise WomanAugust 30, 2010 at 10:20 PM
Ps. Mamma also said that she really dislikes her iPhone touchpad. And she doesn't say she "hates" it because that isn't a "word we use."
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JenniferAugust 31, 2010 at 2:59 PM
So far, tomorrow is better. Nothing like regression to the mean, WW.
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Inner-Creative-VoiceSeptember 7, 2010 at 12:37 PM
This is why "school" was invented:)
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The Wrangler's Reading List

Your One Year Old (two year old, three year old, etc.) series. (There is a book for each age. Has helped me understand my children better as they grow).
When a Crocodile Eats the Sun: A Memoir of Africa by Peter Godwin (The best memoir I have read in a VERY long time. And I read a lot of memoir).
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. (I've read this at five distinct points in my life and have learned something new EVERY SINGLE TIME.)
The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin (This little gem was a timely recommendation from a very good friend. I have put a lot of its tenets into practice, and will confess that it has improved my overall happiness).
The Discipline Book by Dr. William Sears
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austin
Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child. Thanks, Julia, for teaching me how to bake french bread. My family thanks you as well.
Make It Fast, Cook It Slow by Stephanie O'Dea
Anne Lamott. ANYTHING she writes. I love how she is reverently irreverant.
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver
1,2,3 Magic by the man, whose name I have forgotten, who wrote about how to put this very intuitive and yet magical parenting technique into practice. Wish I had thought of that. I also wish I had invented those Silly Bandz that turn children into rabid Silly Bandz-collecting dogs. Ah, well.