One Sentence Wednesday

In order to preserve tranquility in the state of Cheeky Monkeydom, the Wrangler is indulging in her second glass of wine and then will be tucked into bed by 8 pm.

Good night.

I'm in love. . .

. . .with the man who records the update on the Inclement Weather Line for the sports fields in my county. It's a rustic, mid-Atlantic drawl that I find so comforting. . .especially when he says. . .

This is the Inclement Weather Line.
Today is Tuesday, September 28.
All fields and grassy areas are closed due to wet field conditions.

If I ever see him, I will kiss this man square on the mouth. He has freed me from soccer. And you moms out there know how delicious a freed-up afternoon can be. It's like a snow day in the fall.

Can I get a woot?

One Sentence Wednesday

This is the carnage that ensues when I avoid laundry for a week.

The. End.

Quorum Call

After corresponding about my book list with one-seventh of my readership, tee hee I was wondering about the books the remaining six-sevenths of you hold dear.

What books from my book list do we have in common?
What are the books that would appear on YOUR list?
What must must must I read next?

Let's go readers! All seven of you! Chime in!

Sap Fest 2010

. . . .otherwise known as Back to School Night.

Those that know me know I am not a sentimental person. I don't hold onto things for reasons other than function and it takes a lot to move me into a place of nostalgic reflection. I find poems that are crafted to elicit a specific tearful, wistful response to be manipulative, cloying, and irksome.

Or at least I did. Until I had these monkeys. And sent them to school.

See, upon school entry I realized in a way that I never did before that time is flying by and my days with these cheeky little critters is fleeting. For the love of Pete, the Little has now officially been out longer than he'd been in. How did that happen?

But I digress.

Every stinking time I set foot at the boys' school I well up. Or outright cry. Because I am so grateful that they are in a place where they are taught so well and loved so well. Ergo, I am no longer impervious to the sappy poems that get trotted out on Back to School Night (or, as it should be called, Sap Fest fill in the current year).

Here is one such sample.

If I had my child to raise over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I would be firm less often and affirm much more.
I'd model less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.
---Diane Loomis

No disrespect to Ms. Loomis, but this is as manipulative, sappy, cloying, and irksome as they come.

And it made me cry anyway.

Thanks to Mrs. B and Mrs. R for spending this year with Big and Middle. I am so grateful for your presence in their lives.

One Sentence Wednesday

Here's a new thing I'm trying. . .distilling all of my thoughts and concerns of the day into one sentence. On Wednesdays. Hence, One Sentence Wednesday.

Putting structure and limitations on the written form is certainly not a new idea (think: haiku), but it does force the writer to be more precise and creative OR thoughtless and banal (think: the I'm so tired status updates on Facebook and Twitter). Here's hoping my lines won't cause you to yawn. Think and or chuckle is what I'm going for here.

And, without further ado, the first One Sentence Wednesday:

The orajel/ibuprofen cocktail is, in my estimation, man's single greatest invention, and very well may save my sanity.

The end.

Reality Sucks. Brain Cells, That Is.

Currently, I am not at my cognitive best. I hope this is a passing phenomenon. If not, we are in a LOT of trouble. What with the new(ish) baby, significant sleep deprivation, two crazy school-aged schedules, the Head Monkey's itinerant work schedule, my work schedule, and keeping track of the flippin' DOG, I literally don't know whether I'm coming or going. Or how to spell anymore. (I already have had to confirm my spelling of itinerant and deprivation. That is SO not like me).

And to make matters worse? I am addicted to soul-sucking, brain-rotting REALITY TELEVISION.

I'm not proud. But these shows are delicious. And curious. And train-wreckalecka. But they are slowing leeching away my very limited IQ points. They also send me into a veritable SINK HOLE of rationalization. I find myself frequently justifying my choices by saying. . . .

At least I don't watch
The Jersey Shore.

Yet.

In a I hope not vain attempt to refire some dormant neurons, I am going on a self-imposed reality television diet. This diet includes refraining from watching the shows and reading the show blogs. In my very limited free time, I should be pursuing that which is noble. (For a full listing of noble pursuits, click here).

I will refrain from thinking about the following, which consumes a shameful amount of my waking hours. . .

• Is Danielle actually the spawn of Satan?
• Why won't Kourtney just leave Scott already?
• How exactly DOES one get into $11 million of debt?
  
• Will Bethenny have another baby and how the HELL did her body bounce back like that at age 39? Yes, I know she's 39. Further evidence that I have a problem.
• Will Bravo create a spin-off of Kelly in a mental health institution?
• How many different ways can the word douche be used?
  

Andy Cohen. . . . Ryan Seacrest. . . a loyal follower of your programs must take a break to try to regain her brain. I'll be back someday.










Who am I kidding. I'll probably be back Sunday. Can't miss those crazy Kardashians.

Fun Mom Friday: Game Night

We had a good old fashioned family game night last night. And it was a blast!


Thank you to Moriah for hosting this fun idea. I look forward to its return!

To see other Fun Mom Friday posts, click here.